Wednesday, May 12

The Nationalized IPL

Got it through a mail

( sounds a bit like what we have done to Air India !!)

Major Changes Contemplated in IPL!

An IAS officer of 1978 batch transferred from FCI will be the new Commissioner of IPL.

The IPL franchises will be owned by political parties...BJP Brawlers, Congress Chargers,
Left Lighters, etc. Mayawati's team will be led by a guy called Dalit Modi.

CSK shall be divided into 2 teams CSK(DMK) and CSK(AIADMK).

Mumbai Indians will be called Mumbai Manus! only Marathis in it. Other state players will be stoned.

Retired Air-India flight attendants will be employed as cheer girls.

Adam Gilchrist will go on hunger strike to demand a separate team for Telangana.

Teams will no longer have to buy players - one will have to get in to a team only by paying money.

Alternatively, player auctions will be replaced by teams calling for tenders for players - lowest priced players will be picked.

Lalit Modi may upload his resume at

Cheerleaders would perform only the cultural dance of the state they represent.

For every foreign player , a SC/ST and OBC player must be bought for the same amount.

There will be no matches on weekends or on national/regional holidays.

Third Umpire requests will be duly notarized & filled in triplicate.

Sidhuisms will be in Hindi.

IPL games will start two hours behind schedule and close two hours ahead.

IPL tickets will be available in all post offices and BSNL centers from 9 to 1 am.

The retirement age of players will be fixed at 60 years!

Strategic timeout requests will have to be submitted in triplicate.

Kolkata games would need an additional waybill.

Shilpa Shetty and Raj Kundra will be awarded Padma Bhushan for services rendered to the Nation.

Players will have to be certified by a censor board. Harbhajan Singh will be IPLs first "Adult" rated player.

Pakistan will ask for donations from the US to set up PPL. Much to US's anger they will allow Taliban to field one team.

Salaries of players will be as per "Pay Commission" recommendations.

The three stumps will be painted in saffron, white and green with a chakra in the middle.

DD Sports will telecast IPL.

People who do not call Sachin "God" will be termed pseudosecular.

All 3rd umpire decisions will be referred to the Liberhan Commission.

30% of the team named should be women but their husbands can play instead.

Between innings, Doordarshan will telecast news in Hindi, followed by
news for hearing impaired.

In case you have any suggestion,please send it to concerned authorities "To who so ever it may concern"

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